24th december christmas eve

I am awoken by a rustle and dull thud as a coconut falling from a tree works its way through the branches of a tree and then hits the ground.
Had a couple of dreams last night...
1) I was studying but took the test early and only got twenty-three percent
2) I rang up Donna and asked her if I could go round for coffee. To my surprise, she said no. I was then in a park at a big table, studying in the sunshine when Donna turns up with several of her friends. They all sit down and we start talking. One of her friends is Caroline.
What’s it all about? But then, Donna has always been unattainable… and getting twenty three percent in a test? Nothing new there – I never cared for tests and would show my rebelliousness by deliberately flunking them.

It's a beautiful day today - sunny and warm with gentle breeze. The forest seems greener than usual and the sound of the trickling water is carrying further. All is well with the world. This is how Christmas Eve should be.
Seems I have palmito plants and coconuts mixed up. What I thought were palmito nuts are actually immature coconuts! They just look unlike coconuts the coconuts we see in the stores because they are not ripe and they haven’t been prepared for sale by being peeled. Explains why I could only see palmito nuts when I was looking for coconuts. I’m not even sure a palmito nut exists – I think it’s a plant that is used as a vegetable, also called Heart of Palm in this country.

I find some coconuts anyway. They are green at the moment because they are not ready. This was the large green thing that I chopped up to get at the juice inside the kernel. I get a machete and chop away the outside pulp to get to the big nut inside. Then, by puncturing a whole in the kernel, it is possible to drain away the juice that is inside. This is the fluid that eventually turns into coconut milk but at this point, it is an almost clear, slightly cloudy fluid that tastes quite nice. With a little sweetener, you might compare it to sprite or something. I get some kernels ready for tomorrow so that I can create my own Christmas beverage. I’ll call it my ‘Costa Rican Christmas coconut cocktail.’ (CRCCC).

It’s difficult today though, especially in the evening. At 6pm here, it is midnight in the UK and I have to say, I feel pretty lonely, thinking about the Midnight Mass, the cheering in the pubs, friends and family etc. I confess I can’t sit still nor get any comfort anywhere. I didn’t think it would bother me but it does. I’m restive and increasingly out of sorts as the day goes on.
I sit on the balcony at dusk as usual watching twilight do its thing and listening to the dusk chorus. They don’t know there’s anything special today so why should it make any difference to me? But it does. Sitting there, the full Moon begins it arc across the sky, ironically from somewhere behind the hickory tree, and soon enough it is casting a whitish topping over the whole kit and caboodle.
‘Well, would you Adam-and-Eve it?’ I declare, once again to no one but myself. ‘ Would you credit it? Frost!’ The full moon has deposited what looks amazingly like a layer of rime over everything I can see. ‘Thank you, God.’
Eventually I try to go to bed. I don’t even get close to going to sleep so I soon give up, get up again and go for a walk on the bridge. I click on the radio for a while and try to make coffee but there is no gas coming out now. It looks like the connector has finally broken. I can’t be bothered to think about that now – I’ll deal with it tomorrow.
I wonder again what I am doing here. Am I wasting my life or am I doing something that few people get the chance to do. Am I finding anything out about myself? And if I am, are they good things or bad things? What happened to my wildlife sanctuary, my jeep from Alabama and my motorcycle? I thought about what Jim had said about other people coming across in the New Year. Is that happening? Will other people be stranded here as I am?
I can’t figure Jim out. Is he a con man? I would say it’s a pretty stupid business to be in if he is – there’s no money in it. Why on earth did he have me fly half way around the world? What does he get out of it? What does Sinai wildlife projects get out of it? I just don’t get it.

Antony has just had a nasty encounter with some anteaters…
Wondering if I’m living thru Antony. I’m sure as hell not living anywhere else. I am surprised I am this motivated to write the novel as I’ve never really aimed to do one before. It’s a revelation to me. I am revelated.

Revelate /rėvvзlayt/ v.tr 1 to have something shown or displayed to oneself; to allow to appear 2. to have something disclosed unto oneself